the night has a thousand eyes

hii.

i haven't written in here since I found out about Nelson, so i'm going to now i guess.

Not much has happened lately. Nelson's funeral was on Wednesday at St Benedict's Smithfield. It was alot more saddening than a funeral usually is, i think personally. Maybe it was because it was a suicide, i'm not sure. I don't think i've cried so much. I will never forget when his parents leaned into the coffin and we're speaking to his body as if he was still alive, stroking his hair and kissing him. Heartbreaking, is the only word I can relaly choose to describe what it felt like to see that.

It was pretty uneventful after that, except when that guy fainted on me. ow -_-.

And lol, even though it was such a sad day, Ninorta still managed to make me and Denita laugh. For example:

Nino: Omg man, this would be the best day to commit crime . . . all the cops are HERE !

and then
*benita is crying*
Nino: oh my god benita. . . YOUR MAKE UP :V .


gosh i love you nino <3
and denita and yonita
i'm so happy that you guys were there with me, and that we could support each other (L)

so yeah, following that day, nothin much interesting happened. Sure, my parents were on holiday, but Yonita was still home. So no rebellious or idiotic antics. Unfortunatley.

THENN on the weekend i got shipped off to Kings Langley to stay with auntie Nina whilst Yonita went to Hunter Valley. I love my aunt and uncle, but thank God for my cousin Rameil, who stopped me from going insane via boredom.

He full took me to ap izza hut owned by his friend who let us into the back kitchen. Thankyou Nigel and the other dude for custom making our pizzas, which were EPIC.

. . .
now i feel like pizza. fml.

TOMORROWW
hopefully i'll see Ivana or something. i've missed her since she went Melbourne.
and then ill see denita on tuesday
and hopefully going swimming at endy's sometime this week .
hopefully

BYE : )

RIP <3

NELSON DAVID FAUL
24/01/92 - 27/12/09
"Life is what you make of it"

Today, the world has lost a star. Today, Nelson David Faul decided to take his own life.

Already, the world seems that little bit more darker, a little bit more bleak. A little bit more worthless. I'll never forget the memories I got to have with you, though I wish i had more. I only knew you for about two years, but thats all the time i needed to figure out how wonderful, smart, funny, talented and how much of a great person you were<3

You were meant for great things, you had every option for your future available to you. You were so talented that it was unbelievable. I wish you could have stayed here on Earth just a little bit longer. But this is what you wanted, and thats a consellation, that at least now you're happy and at peace.

I've only got a few memories of you. I'll never forget the breaks i had with you at work. You were so funny and kind, asking me if I wanted anything and us laughing at your school ID card which was so dorky haha. Oh my god, hahah, you were my scream teacher! You promised to teach me how to do all that scream/growl shit. You were so funny, you were like "it feels like you're chucking a shit!" LOL ! and that time we were bitching about Dylan, and you were like "Omg please tell me you didn't fuck him!" that was pretty mad too =].

More than anything, my heart goes out to your family. Your parents, your brothers Matthew and Nicholas, as well as your sister Samantha. God, I can't imagine what state they are in. I just want to say to them, i'm so, so, sorry for your loss, and I wish i could somehow help. And to all your friends, whats happened is such a tragedy, but be strong.

Its sad though, knowing that when I walk into McDonalds, he wont be working in the back area. It hurts to think how when I go to a gig, Pray for death wont be on the list, and Nelson won't be there to shit on other bands with his talent. It all hurts.

I'll never forget you.
I'll miss you, Nelson David Faul.
See you on the other side <3>

That boys a monster . . .

HE ATE MY HEART
i love that girl

HE ATE MY HEART

i wanna talk to her, she's hot as hell ♥

A few days ago, I bought Lady Gaga's limited edition copy of 'The Fame Monster'. Truly, it was the best money I think i have ever spent. It's so unbelievable how she can still manage to come up with new tunes and melodies. Though she sometimes writes about the same thing, she always manages to do it in a different way, a way in which you can connect with on an individual level. It's not like you have to be Lady Gaga, to understand what she's talking about. Afterall, who hasn't suffered things like heart ache or constant annoying telephone calls?

So, after listening to The Fame Monster during every waking moment, I have specifically fallen in love with the track, 'monster'. I'm not sure if its the lyrics, or the way that the song uses imagery of a monster as a metaphor for a man, but I love it. Not only is it a good song, but its sort of true. Boys are monsters, and appropriatley, Gaga uses the line 'he ate my heart'. She's got it spot on. Thats exactly what it feels like when you like a guy or are having romantic problems or whatever. It feels like he ate your heart. Asshole.

Fuck this thing sounds like an english essay . . . shudder.

ok, whatever.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE !
i dont know about you, but I had a pretty mad christmas at my aunties house. Us Assyrians go off. Before anyone asks, NO, we do NOT blow up shit to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

But we've though about it ;).
Basically my Christmas was all about presents, family and a shit load of food. Predominatly meat. YUM ! Sadly, Christmas will be over in 1 hour and 42 minutes. . .

I'm gonna go enjoy the rest of it <3
love you all <3

you're a shining star

. . .
i got a roller shutter on my window today.
. . .
dont know what im really meant to use it for. The sun doesn't shine into my room, so its not useful for that. I can't put pics on it or anything. It has this mad twisty knob thingy though.

I guess it would be useful to keep out any unwanted visitors. Like rapists and pedos.

Yay im going dinner tonight, with Ivana. I haven't done that in ages, and tbh, i kinda miss her. More than that though i miss hanging with everyone else. I haven't really been out much since schoolies. Apparently I have a bad attitude and i need to be incapacitated. I hope that Deni gets to come. That would be fun (:

i haven't got much to write today, but i just want to get into the habbit of actually maintaining my blog. oooh, i re-arranged my room, put up new photos and rearranged the photos too. Ive been adding new bands to my iPod, cause, well, according to Bunyan my iPod is totally 'shit off its tits'. haha.

Oh by the way, get better Alex <3 !

and sigh, I miss josh :(.

now im off to do something. I guess. (:

liccccccccccccccck !

Ill take this to my grave.

I did it. After months of not doing it and resisting the urge whenever I was in a crap mood, i did it. I'll probably regret it tomorrow morning. But hey, I guess i'll worry about that tomorrow morning.

Cause right now, its the best feeling in the world.

baby . . .

You will never fall apart,
Diana you're still in our hearts.

Never let you fall apart,
together we'll dance in the dark.

Baby loves to dance in the dark,
Cause when he's looking she falls apart.
Baby loves to dance in the dark.

Baby. . .

Baby loves to dance in the dark,
Cause when he's looking she falls apart.
Baby loves to dance, loves to dance in the dark.

In the dark.

HOT CHILD IN THE CITY <3

OMG. so yeah. um. fuck i forgot what i wanted to type.
OH YEAH
I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE MUSE TO WRITE A BLOG ! THANKYOU FUCKING JESUS! WOOO

i haven't written one in almost 2 months. eek.
so yeah, not much has happened since my last post (graduation).

I had my formal ( which was mad). It began and ended with alot of fucking photos being taken, which i still have to upload (soz ivana). I especially love the one of me and ivana relieving ourselves in the boys urinals. I bet no one else could do that in high heels ! *shakes fist*

by the way, Tk just wants to shout out and say "Tk rules, people suck."

You know, cause tk isnt a person, hes some weird half man half machine thingy cause he never stops eating protein and going to the gym. and lolol he's gonna marry me for a week (: !
then he'll divorce me . asshole

Anyway back to me and my life. There weren't many exciting things after formal except for schoolies ;]

I journeyed up to the central coast with Ivana, Joe, Zac, Cayla, Erika, Bronte, Ricky, Alex and James :).

i can't be fucked writing paragraph after paragraph on miniscule detail of what went on at schoolies cause to be honest, you probably don't want to know.

SO I WROTE A LIST

· Firstly, I lost my mums camera and subsequently got dragged home by le madre, then dropped off back at terrigal the next day in a mad hotel. Thanks mum (Y)

· Oooh, that awesome piano that played by itself =D. I swear, I will own one.

· I will never forget those British lads that borrowed Zacs shoes in exchange for beer and then tried to get with me at 3am LOL. I quote “So, this Benita, she’s not attatched to any of you yeah, shes free game yeah?” and then "Benita . . . BENITA? YOU WILL OBEY!"

· Me and Erika’s memorable table dancing to Jay Sean. That was fun <3

· Bronte’s attempt at being a unicorn, oh god, the lawlz <3

· Watching a lizard crawl up Zac’s leg, and then watching him get chased by derro kids. Btw he named the lizard Jackie. (cue ivana: WHOREEEEEEEEEEEE)

· Like all other schoolie events, our week at schoolies included hook ups, alcohol & cigarettes. Its just not natural to not have those things.

· Id like to give a shout out to Liana & co for their free alchimohol.

· Hungry wolf pizza and pasta = EPIC.

· It was kind of grosse, living off mi goreng and pizza for a week. I felt like a single mother, feeding her three very hungry and abusive children (zac, ivana and joe).

· Laughing as Ivana’s voice box slowly deteriorated to some raspy thing that you’d expect to hear in a horror movie, that was awesome <3.>

· Omg, all those memorable sayings such as:

- YOUR TOTES A WANKER.

- E.I.N.C !

- Sitting on the toilet (other variations include ‘sittin on an arab’ and ‘sittin on YOUR FACE’

- YOUR FACE

- Wheerrreesss the chapstick?

· Oh God, me and Ivana shitting our pants when we were at the beach at midnight and then all the lights turned off xD

· That awesome and totally epic hot tub at James’.

· Playing ping pong with Zac at 4am (:

· “Is that your boyfriend? No? Does he have a boyfriend?”

· Dancing to Bad Romance with Ivana was lovely. We should do it again (Y)

· And I would like to commend my bravery, cause unlike Alex and Ricky, I actually had the bravery to hold a conversation with chicks that I shotgunned (:

all in all, schoolies 09, at terrigal was mad , and i would definitely go again :)

Voila. That’s schoolies for you bitch.

ohh, and i finally found my song for 2009.

hot child in the city - pat benatar

FCC 09 !

Well, i'm officially old. I graduated :).

Let me give you a run down of graduation day ;)

Well, it starts at school. With our lovley assembly. and omg i didn't cry. Shock horror; since I always cry LOL. We walked into the assembly with bon jovi playing, and walked out with the theme song of friends.
Man i miss year 10 girls <3
Jen, Cassie, Cassie 2, Claire, Stef, Alana, Mags, Jasmine, Angelica, Hampsey, Marie, Samuel, Chad . . .

fuck :( !

and it was so bittersweet, walking out of the Freeman gates with our guard of honour for the last time as students <3, me and Ivs screaming our heads off and driving down Mount St. with Cobra Starship playing. AND ROFL, WE FORGOT LAUREN <3. we love you bby !

We drove from there, to Ivana's household to get ready for muck up (H). Flour bombs ftw bitches. We were met at Ivanas with Ricky, Lauren, James and Tash. From there, we proceeded to some park where i immediatley donned a poncho.
AND GOT EGG THROWN AT ME! IT WAS GROSSE. I HAD EGG ON MY NECK AND MY BACKKK AND ALL THAT SHIT !

AND LOL AT RICKY THROWING SHIT AT IVANA'S CAR!
it wa shilarious to watch her chase him, and watch him cower in James' front seat.
Ivana: WE SAID NO CARS ! GET THE FUCK OUT ! IM GOING TO THROW THIS SHIT *honey and dough* AT YOU !
Ricky: I'll clean your car i swear!
James: DONT FUCKING THROW THAT SHIT AT MY CAR IVANA!

and then omg, everyone was like "COPPERS ARE COMING"
so we dumped the water balloons and sped off like mofos :D.

Me and Ivana drove to James' house, where we proceeded (just the two of us) to hose ourselves down in his driveway. and it was so emabressing cause I didn't know his dad was home, and i full stripped to my bra to wash the egg off -_-. thank god he didnt see LOL.
By then, Ricky and James had joined us. Two minutes later, Tash, Lauren, Marc and Bordalazzo joined us. Compeltley unknown to me and Ivana was that they were sitting naked in the back seat, as Tash had refused to let them into her car in their grosse muck up clothes!

So i was full looking cause i thought they were joking. LOL .

Then we went across the road to Marc's house for a swim in his pool! :) !
THAKNYOU MARC x
it was mad fun, just swimming with my mates and throwing balls. i have a red mark on my nose thanks to ricky :D ! and ivana has a concussion ;)

THEN FROM THEREEE
I WENT HOME TO SHOWER AND GET READY FOR GRADUATION NIGHT !
and at the end of it, fuck i cried like a bitch. Worse than i did on last day of classes. I cried and cried. Im going to miss so many people. Especially, viet, probably since i wont see her everyday like i like to, even though she loves up the road ! :D

and everyone else who i wont see =/
chris, melody, melissa, amanda.
ok im gonna cry. so im gonna shut up

so yeah, i graduated. 13 years of education . . . completed.
man i love my mum for helping get me the best education i could. Shes fucking awesome; and the best mum in the world !

AND TODAY !
I WENT TO JOANNA'S GRADUATION <3
Im so fucking proud of you, and im so happy i got to see you graduate; my best friend of 8 years!
omg im gonna cry.

congrats to all the hoxton girls !
Jojo, svetlana, jess, britney, elda.

i love you all !
but more importantly, i love FCC 09. how am i gonna live without you guys?
xoxox

you cant handle the truth !

king.leviathian.loves.queen.leonidas says:
i love arabs
king.leviathian.loves.queen.leonidas says:
especially YOU
Boneyardss - HSC; i hate you abur ily jojo says:
LOL
king.leviathian.loves.queen.leonidas says:
UR THE MOT BEAUTIFUL ONE
king.leviathian.loves.queen.leonidas says:
IM GNA MARRY U FOR 1 DAY
king.leviathian.loves.queen.leonidas says:
THEN DIVORCE U




nawwww; isnt Tk just the bestest friend/future ex husband/spartan warrior in the world?!?!
i think he is. so fuck off hes my best friend. YOU CANT HAVE HIM

anyway. UPDATE.

i studied today. well i tried. and we all know that means i failed. I failed miserabley.
I studied mathhhhhh, legalll, theni bludgedddd, then arabs . . ..
about 5 minutes on each :) ! !

yeah my life sucks and so does my blog. Go lick ivanas tits. stupid bitchface.

me and liana are playing the question game right now ;)
naughty naughty questions. its quite fun ! :)
wish you could all see it but you cant.

OH OH OH. and theres a friend of mine that im sick of. totally sick of. I never get invited to hang out; they always have parties and shin digs without me; but whenever any of them need something, or want to rant or cry, the bastards come running back.

well fuck off; i wont take your shit anymore. Stupid hairy bitches.

besides that; ily
i miss the year 10 girls.
omg look at her ass uleh !

=/

i really dont want to right. i dont know why im writing. really, whyyyyyyyyyyyy?

OMG I HATE THIS. I KNOW I SHOULD WRITE A BLOG CAUSE I HAVENT DONE THIS IN AGES

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ! ! ! !

lol i hate TJ on gilmore girls, Lorelai is gonna snappppppppp
lol she snapped. LMFAOOO !

"Is she Jewish or something?"

ok now im watching Greek, there are 3 guys in jail. i dont know if i should lol or what.
omg casey is a jealous bitch. yeah you drink that lemon drop slut.
omg this weekend sucked.
well, Andy's was fun. but other than that, SHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ! ! !
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
SHIT SHIT SHIT

I HATE YOU ALL. FUCK YOU

AND LOL AT CAT FIGHT ON FRIDAY.
icant believe this is my last week of school, i feel like crying.
gonna miss sexy cunt & bitch :(.

how excitement !

THE WORLD SHOULD KNOW THAT I AM ON PWDS DVD.
FOUR SECONDS IN
CLOSE UP.
I LOOK TERRIBLE =D


omg i just realised that evreyone who buys the dvd or watches this vid will see me looking terrible LOL.
how wonderful :D :D

=D

DISCLAIMER: I have not written any of this. I am simply acting as a divide between the author and what they wish to express to the world. I am doing this to help protect the identity of the writer. Plus its just fun :).

today was a great day...the love of my life came to my house and we spent the whole day together he uses my bum as a pillow. He also attacked my facebook page and stepped on my hair. He also seranded me and he loves my bed. We went out for lunch. It was so sweet how he insisted on coming over cause he didn't want me to be home alone. NAWWW HES SO CUTE

By the admirer of awesomeness.

btw audience, this is your queue to go: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

It's Britney BITCH.

'GOT THE SWAGGER OF A CHAMPION
too bad for you
YOU JUST CANT FIND THE RIGHT COMPANION'

I GUESS WHEN YOU HAVE ONE TOO MANY
makes it hard it could be easy

who you are, thats just who you are baby !

oh. fiddlesticks

TK THINKS MY BLOG IS LAME
AND I MUST AGREE
THAT IT IS
BUT WITHIN ITS LAMENESS, THERE IS AWESOMENESS.

omg i love that nerd in 10 things i hate about you:

"The shit, hath hit-eth, the fan!"

like LOL.

anyway
my blog is awesome
cause its about my life and my friends
and i think all blogs are lame. but i have a wonderful skill as a writer and i therefore own all. NEHH.


i think im gonna grow up and be an author. You know. Like Mary Shelley and Steph Meyer.
only better :)
ill write about a girl whos in love with a boy whos in love with boys who has a mother that loves too many boys and too many bottles of whiskey. I will incoroporate that the girl has a suicidial puppy, and explore his puppy brain. As well as delve into the life of the girls eccentric family. such as her feminist mother with hairy legs and her paranoid father who believes in aliens.

It will be amazing

<3
i love you all

oh LARD !

I just realised that its 10pm and i haven't even managed to complete my consumer study notes tonight. wow. im so going to fail HSC.

ANYWHO

im so sorry babies, that i haven't been on in such a long time and posted blogs and ranted abou tmy so terrible life and everything blah blah blah im such a stupid whinger and i complain too much. But i have missed you blog, but I don't have the time for you, yeah?

Don't get cut, blog :(.


ANYWAY

I HATE TRIALS
AND GWENHARWOOD
AND BELONGING
AND TEXTS IN TIME
AND HISTORY AND MEMORY

but i love my car
or my sister's car
we share it
but I don't drive

my family is arguing, fuck i love them <3
with all my heart.

and i have so many updates for you !

IVANAS IN LOOOOOVE WITH A DIFF GU Y! YAY
your off the hook Alex =D.
and um, i dyed my hair again. woooo. i had black hair for a bit, scary.
and im friends with diana again, like full tight. yay. im happy, i missed her when we weren't talking.
and i broke my drought xD ! awwww shiettt, but I won't tell you who with :P.


My life is interesting cause I hate trials and im in a mad band that everyone will love cause our advertising campaign will mainly consist of Ivana's tits. The band consists of me and ivana. We are called The Dying Cats, cause thats what we sound like. We shit on all your bands with our epic failure. We will rule the world.

& i love my cat. Hes my best friend. Im gonna grow up and be a cat lady and he can be my fave cat. Or ill grow up and get a job in a peircing parlour. Thatd be mad since i like needles ! fun :)

Ok, so i blogged. are you happy now world? I love you all, every single one of you assholes.

all of you

hugs to all, and kisses if you're pretty :) .
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxox

cant wait !

I cant wait for next week to rant, so heres my rant.

SHIT FRIENDS.


Yeah, you know who you are. You shit friend.

Well you're probably not shit but im angry at you, and im too angry to tell you im angry cause everytime i go to i start crying cause im so bloody angry.

You are a crap friend cause you never seem to care, about anything which even though it is really petty of me, i find that really cuttage that you never take a real interest in other peoples things except to judge them or say that its lame or whatever.

And also, what kind of friend, especially ones who have been friends for almost a decade, forget their friends birthday when it also aligns with a day that you were all omg about, Eofys? I don't know why you forgot or if you forgot but that really cut me, especially when you didn't even seem to care that you forgot it or showed any remorse at all.

So, i love you heaps friend,
but i just dont know what to do anymore.

RANTRANTRANT

I realised, that i haven't ranted on my blog in a long time, if not ever, so I have decided, for health reasons, to rant on my blog at least once a week.

This weeks topic is:

DUMB DOCTORS

It was only yesterday, that after succumbing to an illness that my sister took me to the doctors. And so yeah were there, for about, 1.5 hours, waiting for this doctor. Then we waited ANOTHER 1.5 hours.

1.5+1/5 = THREE FUCKING HOURS

So yeah, after that, I finally managed to see the doctor. And it shocked me, that after THREE HOURS of waiting. ..

it only took him

TWO MINUTES

to tell me that all that was wrong with me was that i had a slight fever, and to take panadol.

Not long after this diagnosis i began to :
a) dry heave
b) cough like a fucking thing that coughs alot
c) become naeusous.



So to that doctor at Cecil Hills Medical Centre

WHO CANT DIAGNOSE FOR SHIT

i hope that YOU
GO
AND
ROT
IN
A
HOLE


CAUSE NOW IM SICK AS SHIT, AND I CAN BARLEY FUCKING TALK YOU ASSWIPE


TAKE PANADOL? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS




AS SOON AS I GET MY STRENGTH BACK I AM GOING TO ROUNDHOUSE YOU SO HARD, THAT YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO TAKE PANADOL!
YEAH!


ok im done.
i feel better :).

love you all xoxox.


! ! !
IM GOING BRITNEY SPEARS WOO

BIRTHDAY LIST =D

So, everyone keeps asking me "What do you want for your birthday?" and im not going to be a coy motherfucker and say nothing. Cause i want everything ! Unfortunatley, I can't have everything so i have put together a little list (little), for people to look at and buy something for me if someone else hasn't already shotgunned it.

So here we go:

• Wicked by Gregory Maguire (shotgunned by Ivana)

• House of night series by P.C Cast and Kristin Cast:

- Marked (shotgunned by Lauren)
- Betrayed
- Chosen
- Untamed
- Hunted

• Chasing Midnight by Susan Krinard (shotgunned by Diana)
  
• Supernatural season 1
• cool make up is always a cool present !
• Suicide Season - Bring me the horizon
• The Fame - Lady Gaga
  

i just lost the game -_-

• ummm
• i dont want an umm by the way.
• OH OH OH that Cullen family crest wrist band ! !
  
• Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare ( the actual play script )
• Mini Pancake maker ! ( i think nina shotgunned this )
• Alexander (the movie), the one with Angelina Jolie.
  
• i like DVDs.
• JANE EYRE by Charlotte Bronte
• i like jewelerry and clothing too. means im not nakey.
  

yeah, im done.
if i think of anythign else ill add it!
IF YOU WANT TO SHOTGUN ANYTHING, let me knoww !

HAHAHAHHA

I would just like to say something to this poor, poor bastard. . .

UNLUCKKYY ! ! !

NICLUL :D

So, theres this girl called Nicole . Most of you reading this will know her, the hot goth/scene looking girl with pretty skin and tight corsets. Nicole is one of my favourite people in the world, seriously, and I love her to bits and peices (L).

Once upon a time, Nicole went to Freeman with me and all our friends, and it was awesome cause I got to see her everyday, but then she moved schools to Cecil, and now i hardly ever get to see her and I even missed her birthday party cause of some stupid football game. Lmao, I even remember we cried cause I couldn't go ! :(

So this post is basically being created so I can tell YOU, about all the wonderful memories and moments I have ever had, and hope to have with Nicole.


Nicole is awesome cause we have no boundarys, and I dont know about her, but i feel completley comfortable around her. I can say whatever I want and just be myself. Like, there is no one else in the world who would say to me "Arabs have nice vaginas" then proceed to hold a conversation about minge maintenance with me LOL. And she has this totally adoreable thing where she hates it when people touch her neck cause it freaks her out.

She has the most awesome obsession with the German language and Phantom of the Opera! If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have remembered to buy tickets for the production.
Btw nikky, we are so going together when another tour begins!

So even though i described her pretty shittly ( no words can encompass her total awesomeness) i looove Nicole . love love love her. ! :)

and i miss her heaps !
xoxox